Raise your hand if you thought I’d abandonned this experiment!
Don’t worry, you don’t have to. Raising your hand in front of your computer is awkward, either if you’re by yourself at home or at work, but I must tell you that ten days ago, I would have raised it myself, so unconfident I was about my own will to go on.
Two weeks ago the session has been a total disaster, as I haven’t been able to resist the couch potato option after a long day at work (I plead guilty as charged, but a new bunch of DVDs from the BBC isn’t helping). The downside of the Wednesday sessions principle is the guilt afterwards when things go south. Well, you can’t win both ways can you? I worried at the back of my mind that missing one session would discourage me, slippery slope and all, and that this would be the end of my experiment. Sure, if it had been a diet or an exercise program it would have been enough to make me stop. But, to mention a piece I read this morning about procrastination and courage, writing, even though it takes determination, is a lot more fun than not writing. I remembered how elated I felt when I recently finished a piece.
Last week I made sure to choose something not too difficult, starting with some handwritten notes to type. I don’t want to jinx it, but this is a piece of fiction that’s as far from myself as you can get yet mysteriously very close to my heart. It worked well. This week I wanted to continue on this very piece, but I was rather scatter-brained and the result was stilted. I can make myself write words just for the sake of easing my guilty conscience and moving the plot forward, but in the end I’m not sure these words will stay when I’ll be editing. Writing is such a roller-coaster!