I didn’t write much during August, at least not as much as I’d imagined considering I had long holidays. But those were a family vacation abroad, so whatever free time was spent with the kids discovering new places and new ways of living (fish and chips, anyone? I am seriously overdosed). Still, I can say that writing occupied much of my spare brain space.
I do find myself at a crossroads, and for the moment I am stalling without taking any big decision. The first big question is either writing in English or writing in my own language. Typically this month, I worked on the edits of a story as planned, which is written in English, but now I hesitate if I should rewrite it in my mother tongue. Assuming I could really make a decision, the next choice would be either trying to submit my stories somewhere or using this time to write some more (knowing that my time resources are limited and will stay that way for a while at least).
I received very encouraging feedback from friends on my story, and I have some clearer ideas about editing it (on the margins). Receiving feedback is something I’m not quite used to because a. I rarely finished stories before b. I hardly ever showed my stories to anyone but my husband who is very supportive but he won’t go into the nitty-gritty details that a fellow writer would enjoy. Hearing praises or criticism about this particular story feels a bit weird because I am done with it by now, as if it were someone else who had written it. It’s easier to cut sentences and review one’s own text more objectively in these circumstances, but it’s also harder to write new paragraphs into this story.
The question that comes next is often the most problematic for me: then, what do you want to do with it? I’m always like: well, was I supposed to do something? I always thought the point of it was to have fun writing, and submitting does not really count as fun. My dream isn’t really to have my name on a big book (or am I fooling myself here?) There is enough competition in my professional life already (and I’m sorry to say, in my parent life), I’m not sure I have it in me to push, and push harder, so that this story finds a magazine somewhere to get published. Yet, of course, I’d love that more people could read it.